Current mood:	blank
Current music:	A Perfect Circle

Merry freakin Christmas everyone
I haven't writtin in this thing forever, but I do believe I should start again. Well it is currently the 21st of decemeber and 9 days until the big 18... Scared shittless? needless to say.. There is so much stuff going on in my tiny little broian right now it's freakin unbelieveable. augh
The good news...- My hair.. I finally don't look like I am a dyke... Yes!!!! I mean don;'t get me wrong, I totally dog short hair... just not... thats short and that way cut... I thought it wold really cool to cut my hair like this girl I saw in this vampire movie so me and rachel and laurnen decided hey whats the worst that can ahppen eh? I looked like man ....for like 3 weeks.... augh, but it's all good, because my hair is growing back and yes!I am not cutting it anymore... I want it to be a long short,... If that makes sense..
I wrote this book in English class these past 2 weeks and my coloring sicks but the book, is cute i guess... I thought it was adorable how every one ryhmed there... I'm a writer, but I'm not a rhymer... if I even spelled it right. Ohw ell, I have to read it tomorrow because I am a wimp I chickened out on reading it today and yesturday...
Now for the hell wreck I put myself in...
Let's start with School, which is going good, and it's not all as hard as i thought it was going to be, but man I'll tell ya, it takes some thigns out of you... ex pecially when your trying to pass with a merit roll, and getting your credits but june...scary let me tell ya... This girl that I know doesn't feel like going to school ever and she's already a super senior, and she could graduate in january if she wanted to but she doesn't feel like going, so she deoesn't and now she has to start the whole semester over in January and graduate with my class.... Good call... ( not really)
Anyways, thats not really hell for me as much as driving and being home with awkwardness is...
Augh... Sunday me and Aaron.... augh, he's never coming to my house again... I'm not sure if he would want to anyways....
Moving on... I got in a car accident yestuirday after noon on my way to take my road final for my driving education course.... I thought me and dad were both goners and if freaked the hell out of me and to make matters worse, my mom was freakin, like she said I should be guilty and all this... no duh!!! She's being really dumb about the whole th ing... Really.. my dad though is cooler and we talked things out, everyones fine and I have to pay 200$ to my family when I get the mobey... so yeah... But I feeel really bad and I think I need a counseler again, because I freaked out today at my mom and I haven't done that since I was 12 which was right before I started going to a counseler. I dunno but it was scary because I flipped out throwing stiff yelling on the top of my lungs, it was really bad and I like blanked out... it was crazy.... but yeah... I think once I start writing in this again I can be okay with things because writing is a release hardcore....
ames so has been calling me...lo get that out eh? Im sleeping its 3 in the mornig and my phone rings so I answer it and its my friends boyfriend tellin me that he's stalking me and all this other shit i knew itw as him anyway he was talkig to me and then I said soemthing like ya okay, good luck with that and I hung up... Welll like 3 seconds later James calls me and he's apoligizing hardcore and I'm thinkin no bog deal and then he said he still wants to be friends with me and he still wants to talk I think that umm he was so excusing it but I dunno it was kinda nice because I hated that awkwardness you know? I dunno so I guess we're talkign againand he called me again last night to talk about Saturday again ( cuz he couldn't find any other excuse lol just playin) and we chewed the fat for a while and it was awesome... I mean I am willing to be friends with anybody and I am a very forgiving person, I have Aaron. I am happy, if he wants to start talking thats cool, I don't mind...
Hey Malissa I miss you dollface... It;'s snowing here.... a ha.... I don't know why I am saying a ha I gotta shovel the shit...lol I love you
And Rachel hey I love you too of course... No bashing this time lol just playin.
Umm lets see my dad just got out of sergury a little bit ago and he is doin okay I guess, he stopped bleeding which is always a good thing
My real mom... she's so awesome... I called her as soon as I got home from everywhere and where eveyrthing took place and we talked and I felt better... Her presents are coming son for me,. she always gets me awesome stuff..lol
Aaron, ( Like i can go one entery without saying anything about him right?) he's cool, he thinks I'm amazing... I love that kid,....:) But yeah things are great really they are... He was there for me when I needed him and it was different... but it was nice for once to have someone there right on the spot to talk to and have someone laugh when you feel like the biggest pile of shit... Yeah I have been freaked out about it whenever I get in a car or bus or whatever but I think thats normal... I hope it's normal....
Other than that I guess alot can happen in a couple days but I am moe aware about like life in general..lol I have a hole in my pants and I'm still thawing out from the cold I chose to walk in for 3 hours with Aaron.. :)
Anyways i wish everyone a Merry freakin Christmas I love all of you who read this and I h ope you hear from me soon like tomorrow or something i probably will be saying merry chroistmas for the next 2 or 3 days whenever that date comes up lol


To a Young Poet

Time cannot break the bird's wing from the bird.
Bird and wing together
Go down, One feather.

No thing that ever flew,
Not the lark, not you
Can die like others do.

Ta Ta for now my tadpoles

xoxoxoxoxo

Melinda